Below, a team of love and relationship experts identify the most telling signs. Soulmates can read each other like an open book. Carmen Harra told The Huffington Post. Sue Johnson , a clinical psychologist and author of Love Sense , said that a soulmate also knows how to respond to your emotional signals. The old adage "When you know, you know" rings true when it comes to a soulmate connection.
You've been totally comfortable around each other since day one. Soulmates connect with ease right off the bat and let their true colors show without fear of judgment. But the relationship isn't all rainbows and butterflies. He or she challenges you like no one else can. The soulmate relationship, despite what people might assume, isn't always smooth sailing. Love stories have a way of emphasizing certain components—the instant connection, the dramatic arc, the gratifying ending—and letting unromantic, inconvenient details fade into the background.
The most difficult thing to let go of was the poignant narrative that had been building for three years—the timeless story of an enigmatic, powerful love that persevered in the most difficult of circumstances, destined to bring us together in the end. His role was that of a catalyst, transforming me into the person that I needed to be in order to end up exactly as I am today: My most serious relationship began at the Starbucks in downtown Boston where I briefly worked during college.
I was a barista, and he was a customer who would come in for hot chocolate several times a day for the chance to chat with me over the counter. However, just as much a part of our story was that our relationship was never easy. We were polar opposites in every way; and while our differences gradually transformed us into better, more well-rounded human beings, it also caused many arguments that tended to end in agreeing to disagree.
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As I said a tearful goodbye to him back then, he told me that he would never walk away from our relationship—a promise that he kept by continuing to show up on my doorstep, month after month. He loved me more than anyone I had ever met at the time; but because of my misconceptions about soulmates, I was waiting for my perfect counterpart, with a relationship free of friction and dissension. I was unable to recognize what was right in front of me. As I wrote in my post, Do Soulmates Exist? I have learned that love is not infatuation; it is not magnetic attraction; it is not the dramatic, heart-wrenching passion that results from being ripped apart and reunited.
Lasting love is not contingent on these things. It is a daily choice to remain committed to someone whom you are willing to trust with everything that you have. It is vulnerability, and it is sacrifice. It is laughter, and it is reciprocity. It is based on the experiences that you build through mutual dependence upon one another, in good times as well as in bad.
4 Dangerous Misconceptions About Soulmates—and How to Think About Love Instead
It is wanting to depart this earth at the exact same time so that you never have to live a single moment in a reality where they no longer exist. I know this now. I certainly think so. We may meet our life partners by chance; but whether or not they stay in our lives is entirely within our control. People come into our lives to teach us vital lessons about ourselves and the world around us. When we meet the people who are meant to be a part of our lives for the long haul, there will still be arguments, compromises, and difficult decisions along the way.
In order to forge a partnership that lasts, therefore, we have to be willing to put in the continual hard work to evolve along with our circumstances—becoming better versions of ourselves year after year. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides; and when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is: Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.
That is just being in love, which any fool can do.
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Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them.
Real, sane, mature love—the kind that pays the mortgage year after year and picks up the kids after school—is not based on infatuation, but on affection and respect. Love is not blind, love sees us as we are and chooses to stay with us, making us better, building us up, and showing us grace when we fail. The longing is not for someone who will complete them; it is for someone who will complete the journey with them.
I want them in my story. Even if they are not perfect. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all. But to live with a soulmate forever? Soulmates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then leave.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. This kind of mutual recognition provides the catalyst for a potent alchemy. It is a sacred alliance whose purpose is to help both partners discover and realize their deepest potentials. This means recognizing that we both have an important part to play in helping each other become more fully who we are. I can actually tell now where I end and where somebody else begins.
It took me over three and a half decades to get to this point—to learn the limitations of sane human intimacy, as nicely defined by C. I had my miseries, not hers; she had hers, not mine. What are your thoughts on soulmates? I would love to hear your stories and opinions this is literally my favorite thing to talk about —leave me a comment below! All photos in this post were taken by The More We See.
Though I do believe certain people are meant to come into your life, whether to be a destructive force or an uplifting one. This includes romantic relationships, but also friendships, work relationships, and even just people that we cross paths with once in a while. Thanks for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment, Laura! This is such a hard topic of conversation to discuss because I am unsure on my thoughts and feelings towards soulmates. I was married for 5 years before ultimately leaving my husband and moving back to Ohio.
I felt as though I was living a passionless life.
I yearned for more, for a deeper connection with not only my spouse but with myself and the world around me. I believe that people enter and exit your life at the right moments. When I started dated again, I soon realized that there are so many types of people in this world. There were those I shared a lot in common with and those that I did not. Trying to understand relationships and the concept of soulmates is tricky to me, and I feel as though I have a skewed perception due to my divorce.
But, alas, I push forward, creating relationships with new beings friends or more and hope that one day I will feel the passion and commitment that you discuss in your post! I absolutely love the thought that maybe each season of your life can come with a soulmate depending on your current state. Some relationships are meant to stand the test of time, but so many others serve their purpose and eventually fade away.
We all go into our relationships intending for them to last forever, and we rarely consider or plan for the reality that they may not; but I do think that we have a lot more agency over that than we might think.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your story, Fay—I really, really appreciate it. Love this post girl! Your story about meeting your husband is so perfect. I do believe in the concept of soul mates. My best friend is one. My husband and I do too, most of the time. Something inside you clicks and says, "Yes, this is the man, the right man". It is not a logical conclusion, it is not a syllogism. It is not that you find out all the pros and cons about the man and then you decide, or you compare the man with all the other men in the world, then you decide.
Something happens out of the blue. Suddenly you see that this is the man whom you were waiting for you carry an image of man, you carry an image of woman inside. You are both, and you go on looking outside. Nobody is going to fit per cent, because the woman that you find outside has her own image about you; you have your own image. It is very difficult to fit with each other. So marriages are always on the rocks, and people, by and by, learn how to carry on peacefully. The whole Tantra method is: And when this becomes a circle, when this inner copulation happens, a great orgasm, a great explosive orgasm begins which knows a beginning but knows no end.
Then you live an orgasmic life. Then you are no more finite, you become infinite. Break the barrier of words. Now, i am talking to you; i am using words. You can listen to my words - then you have not listened to me. You can listen in such a way that the words are no more a barrier, but become vehicles.
Meeting your soulmate is coming full circle - Times of India
They no more create problems, but you listen exactly between the words, between two words, in the gaps. You listen to my silence; then words and their barriers are broken. Read Post a comment. Login from existing account Facebook Google Email. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter. All Comments Your Activity. We have sent you a verification email. To verify, just follow the link in the message.
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